Week 1

Original

Redlined

In general, some of the faces are a bit lopsided; these characters could really make use of base sketches to get perspective and form right. The shoulders in all the characters all seem to be a little bit too scrunched up; shoulders usually have a gradual sloping shape. This varies from character to character, but they don't really have a kind of "bottle neck" appearance, unless viewed from specific angles. I suppose some of the characters could also be drawn a bit larger, but then you can interpret them as simply being far away, rather than too small. I marked off the characters that I thought should be scaled up with the scale-up icon.
The hair also needs a bit of work. I believe these characters are from Final Fantasy 8, so Squall's hair should look more like it's parted to the sides from the middle rather than simply falling over the front of his forehead. Selphie's hair at the bottom seems to have an unnaturally large amount of detail, which makes it look bristly and spiny rather than soft and wispy. In general, it's a good idea to draw hair strands in clumps rather than each individual strand; save that for close-ups. Some hair strands were not tapered enough, and did not look or feel like hair. Rinoa's eyebrows were too thick and bristly for a lady.
The bodies for the most part have fairly strange proportions; I'm finding the arms are much too thick, and the torsos way too thin.